From DLRE: September 3, 2021

Shared Ministry – Who Are We Leaving Out? 

Last month I wrote about my weakness: my fear of admitting when I need help, and then asking for help. It sounds silly, and looked even sillier in print, but the truth is hard to see at times.  

As I reflect on why this can be a challenge in my life, I thought of a couple of things. The first one has to do with my childhood and growing up in a household where I was told in subtle, non-verbal ways that only weak people asked for help. I don’t remember either of my parents asking for help, but that was probably because I was in my own little world and didn’t notice it, for I’m sure there were times when they did. My parents were both very self-sufficient in my eyes. 

The second has to do with my fear of leaving someone out. This usually happens in a dream where I am thanking all the volunteers who put in their time and energy to create a fun, safe, and welcoming program for the young people. In this recurring dream, I have a terrible feeling that I have forgotten someone, or worse yet, more than one person. I then have a deep sense of dread and shame for hurting their feelings. But in my awake moments, the fear is in not asking a specific person for help with a task. I talk myself out of it with thoughts like, “They do so much already” and “They have 7 little kids, I’m sure they don’t have the time”. How many of us have sat in a meeting and thought or said these things? I have tried to be intentional in changing my rhetoric in these situations, but often fall into old habits. 

And so I now wonder how many times I have left someone out in participating more fully? Does my white, middle-class status factor into this? More importantly, what do I need to do to correct this? 

In this time of change, asking for help is perhaps even more important. My struggle is partly in not knowing exactly how much help is needed. How many volunteers do we need when we aren’t sure how many families with children and youth will be in-person? And I struggle with asking people for help during a time when they are dealing with so much: grief, stress, the unknown, not to mention life in general.  

And yet this is an exciting opportunity for us! We have the chance to create the multigenerational community we have been wanting for many years. Through our shared ministry, we individually and collectively can genuinely welcome all ages through our doors, into our sanctuary, and into our lives and hearts. There are so many ways each of us can do this, and faith formation is one of them. Feel free to see how here. 

Let’s see what shared ministry looks like when we invite everyone in! 

In Faith, 

Kathy