Lifelong Learnings

I have been reminded recently of an important lesson: that lifelong learning is inevitable, necessary, and sometimes painful. We grow through our willingness to engage honestly with challenges and hardships. And with grace, forgiveness, and some hard work, we can experience peace and greater trust in the midst of our struggles.

You may have seen the email about two incidents at a youth overnight last month. I want to reassure you that Rev. Eileen and I are talking and meeting with those involved as well as those who are helpful advisors to help rebuild trust, improve communication, and look at our policies and procedures with due diligence and care.

I have been reminded that, in our relationships, impact matters immensely despite our intentions. It is a lesson I am still learning. One is never too old, nor above, learning how their actions can affect others. This has brought out so many feelings in me – sadness, worry, a sense of urgency, trauma from other family and life events, among others. I’m grateful that those involved are willing to stay in relationship as we reflect and strive to do better.

As I have been processing these incidents, I have been looking at them from an even wider perspective, a societal one. I wrote in a previous column during the pandemic about an article I read, which predicted we would see the effects of the pandemic in 5-7 years. We wondered back then how the lack of connection to others outside of the family would manifest as children and youth went back to school and other activities. The same was said about adults returning to offices and jobs in the service industries. Will we navigate this transition in healthy and positive ways? Since we are now amid this period, it’s hard to know to what degree we’re being successful.

We are still figuring out how to be with one another in the world, as well as here at UCE since we reopened our doors. The current political climate has brought many new people into our sanctuary, including families with children and youth. How do we welcome them, and embrace their presence and guide them as they navigate new relationships and friendships? One way we do so is by practicing our covenantal faith. Each faith formation group creates their own covenant and decides how they will address a break in that covenant should it occur. It is the role of those of us who are adult leaders to help guide our children and youth as they practice living those covenants, understand the impacts when they are broken, and work to repair them in the ways that are possible. It is hard work that takes courage, care, and time.

And so, the lifelong learning continues. We will keep working to repair hurt feelings while taking ownership for the harm we have caused. Reconciliation and repair in relationships is the work of our faith. It is what makes the full living of our values possible. As difficult as this is, I am one to dive in and keep working on it. After all, that is what my UU values ask me to do. I’m grateful to have you as part of my lifelong learnings.

In Faith,

Kathy