Dear Friends,
I am back from my summer vacations. Mickey and I spent the last week of June staying in a yurt in Saxapahaw, North Carolina, where I was introduced to the wolf spider! These nonvenomous spiders may grow to have bodies 1 inch long with a leg span of 2 or more inches. The bath house up the hill from our yurt had a huge poster about the venomous black widow spiders and brown recluse spiders showing their actual size. And next to it was a photo of the wolf spider with a note that read: “Wolf spiders eat black widows and brown recluse, please do not kill the wolf spider!”
Our second night in the yurt, we walked in after having dinner with friends living in Burlington, NC, turned on the light, and a little spider was running toward us. In my own home, I am typically someone who catches a spider and releases it outside, but this spider, running toward me and being the same size as the brown recluse and black widow spiders in the bath house poster, did not receive this kind of treatment. After stomping on it and thinking it was odd that it was running toward me, I saw what it was running from – a fully mature wolf spider! It is literally the largest spider I have ever seen outside of a caged tarantula in a pet store. And there it was, 3 feet from the base of the bed I was about to sleep in.
After what seemed like a long conversation, but was probably only a few seconds, ranging from “it is huge” to “we can’t kill it, it eats the deadly spiders” back to “wow, it’s so big”, Mickey had the presence of mind to get the broom from the wonderfully large back deck we had spent the morning enjoying and to encourage that amazingly large spider out the front door. Only it went under the bookcase instead. Nature!
I have had many thoughts about the spider I killed and the spider I spared since returning from our trip. One of my thoughts has been that just as I decided the fate of each of those spiders in that moment, so too are there forces larger than ourselves that often influence a moment in our lives. A fatal or life altering accident, a terminal or chronic diagnosis, a global pandemic that shuts down your employer or a partner who has an affair. So many things are out of our control. And, while we do not control how we feel about these circumstances in our lives, we often can control how we respond to them. If there are too many things outside of your control right now and you could use some support, please reach out to me, Rev. Eileen, or our Pastoral Care Team. You can also request care by clicking on this Request for Care form.
I am grateful for our faith community that provides us with. I am grateful for our faith community that provides us with relationships and care as we figure out how to respond to those events in our lives that are out of our control.
Last Wednesday, Mickey and I took a 3 o’clock work break and walked up the street to get ice cream. On our way, there were three American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) street canvassers. We decided to stop and introduce ourselves. As a member of the ACLU of Illinois Board of Directors, I thanked them for their work. We ended up having an interesting conversation about how their job is not just about canvassing for funds, but also about educating people about the civil liberties work of the ACLU. Before Mickey and I walked on, one of the workers, Jerome, asked if we could take a selfie, which is the photo above of me, Mickey, Jerome, Noah, and River.
That afternoon conversation on the street brought back to mind the North Carolina spiders and the metaphor of being at the whim of things beyond our control. Canvassers are constantly affected by the actions of the people who walk by. People can choose to be courteous, curious, rude, or a myriad of other ways of interacting that will affect the day, and the safety, of these three canvassers.
In my own neighborhood, I often stop a moment to thank the canvassers of non-profits for their work, even if I don’t give a donation, but I never stop if I am walking around downtown. Just like in my reactions to the spiders, my feeling of familiarity with my surroundings affects me and how I react. I invite all of us to practice being more aware of how we engage with other beings when we are in a place we know, a place that is new to us, a place that is fast paced, or a place that lets us slow down. Our interactions with each other matter.
As we move into the beginning of our new congregational year, several of our teams are working on how we might be more welcoming and inclusive, not only to the new visitors who walk through the doors on Sunday mornings, but also in our regular team meetings and as our current members move through life transitions. I invite you into exploring the ways in which we can make our connected and caring community a place where our everyday interactions with each other are filled with more grace, more compassion, and more awareness of our privileges and our places of marginalization. When you are invited to join a hospitality team, engage in a workshop with the Leadership Development Team, or participate with one of the working groups of the Anti-Oppression Task Force, please say yes!
We live in an interconnected world. Our interactions with nature, our engagement with others working to support civil rights, and the care we take with the relationships within our faith community are the moments that matter.
Yours in nature-filled and civil rights-supporting community,
Rev. Susan